Eleven-Twelve.

On this night, I will let you hold my wrists,
I believe they are tiny in the palms of your hands.
I am learning the shape of your lips as you kiss my knuckles,
the spots where strangers filled me to the brim with salt water.
The skin has turned plum colored, as if it knows it has been had.
Tonight there is no trespassing, there is no knowing, no insiders.
You choose not to be reckless, choose instead to take care.
Listen to the story of the ache between my ribs, where it all came undone.
See in this girl's spine where marrow once lived, now glass,
and you know there is no breaking her, not bone or heart.

May 17, 2011

"I'm not on the run, I am matching the big boys, one for one..."

What's playing through those annoying as F earbuds during my workouts this week:

Trevor Hall [feat. Matisyahu] - Unity
The XX - Intro
George Michael - Freedom
Eddie Vedder - No More
TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll
Cold War Kids - Skip The Charades
Band of Horses - The Great Salt Lake
Third Eye Blind - Graduate
Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
Fitz & The Trantrums - MoneyGrabber
Silversun Pickups - Substitution
Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye
John Frusciante - Murders
Ben Harper - Black Rain
Tori Amos - Girl
Warpaint - Beetles
The Sundays - This Is Where The Story Ends
Ani DiFranco - Shameless
Rage Against The Machine - Killing In The Name
Kings of Leon - Radioactive
Lykke Li - Get Some
Matt & Kim - Lessons Learned
Smashing Pumpkins - Hummer

Crying Mix. [It really exists]

Times are fragile, kids. So are my tear ducts. Music heals? Maybe. It definitely helps. I got in my car while leaving the bookstore this afternoon and turned on my iPod to find "Crying Mix" glaring back at me. We laughed, we rolled out eyes. There are songs that make us cry. We break up, we make up, we celebrate, we appreciate...you feel me? I think you do. Using some of the songs from the actual "Crying Mix" and adding a few I'm going to share it with you now. Grab a tissue, turn this shit up loud, and cry it out. It is going to be okay. I promise.

Patty Griffin - Let Him Fly
Damien Rice - Cold Water
R.E.M. - You Are The Everything
Daniel Ahearn - I Will Let You Go
Anais Mitchell - Changer
Brandi Carlile - Josephine
Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye
José González - Heartbearts
Johnathan Rice - The Acrobat
Mumford & Sons - White Blank Page
Third Eye Blind - The Background
Tori Amos - Tear In My Hand
R.E.M. - Nightswimming
Tracy Champman - The Promise
Adele - Someone Like You
Josh Ritter - Change Of Time
Bon Iver - Brackett, WI
Brand New - Play Crack The Sky
The Sundays - Wild Horses
Coldplay - The Scientist

I am not a writer.

I cup you in my hands,
place an ear against the skin of your back.
Beat after beat of pitch perfect heart sounds, 
somewhere in between I remember who I used to be,
and how we arrived here.
We lie with lies in your bed,
and with the hours.
Within them I am convinced this is enough,
until I feel you waste part after part,
the freckles on my chest,
the laugh in my belly,
the stories that make me breathe.
I crawl from your bed,
press my feet against the cold,
I wash your salt water taste from my tongue to forget you.
You must know this,
you were a sometimes, a stranger.
You are now made of words: delicate, ferocious, unkind.
You have become the turn of a key,
the sound of driving away.

I met you dancing,
french cigarettes in your coat pocket,
palm in palm,
step right, right, left, repeat.
I am another girl dressed as a woman,
reduced to being simple,
I am the cotton skirt I wear, perfectly pleated.
I will marry you under the pear tree,
we will make a daughter and another.
Listen to the tick of the pocket watch,
some holiday gift from your mother's father
it must be time for you to acquire a new taste.
We are a grown, ripened.
I will find a corner in the cellar,
listen to the mandolin player,
and bleed myself dry.
Step right, right, left, repeat.

january 12, 2009

car playlist, week one.

1. Girl Germs - Bratmoblie
2. U.N.I.T.Y. - Queen Latifah
3. No Intentions - Dirty Projectors
4. Lessons Learned - Matt & Kim
5. Float On - Modest Mouse
6. Ladyfingers - Luscious Jackson
7. I Feel Cream - Peaches
8. I'm Good, I'm Gone - Lykke Li
9. Oscar Wilde - Company of Thieves
10. Dimestore Diamond - Gossip
11. The Book of Right-On - Joanna Newsom
12. Rise Up With Fists - Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins
13. Golden Skans - The Klaxons
14. Gold Lion - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
15. I Want You - Common

My Top Five Albums of 2009!

It's the end of a decade and man do people love lists at the end of a decade. I haven't written in awhile [work, life, arm sawed it two, you know?] I think 2009 was a pretty decent year. Musically and otherwise. I chose 5 because 10 was becoming a challenge. I loved a lot of smaller artists/bands this year. I decided to keep this list on a more mainstream level. So, here it goes...

#5. Yeah Yeah Yeah's - It's Blitz!

'The cinders, they splinter and light the path,
of these strange steps trace us back, trace us back...'

Loved this album. It was in my car for weeks. It's great for a drive, a dance, a cry. Karen O's voice is fantastic and sweet. Stand out songs: Hysteric, Skeletons, Soft Shock.

#4. Silversun Pickups - Swoon

'There's a vulture perching right off screen
and it's bitter and whispers chaotic things...'

Swoon? Indeed I did. [I couldn't help myself] I've been partial to this band since the song Lazy Eye came out. I bought this album in April and listened to it on a road trip to PI. Then again and again. They are a specific sound and it's not something I'm usually attracted to but I do really love this album. Stand out songs: There Are No Secrets This Year, Panic Switch, Substitution.

#3. Tegan and Sara - Sainthood

'Standing back against my building's back door, you're hoping for a ride.
I know the world's been mean to you, I've got a cure, hold tight.'

I really started listening to T&S when they released So Jealous and really started liking them when they released The Con. This new album is so smart and fun to listen to. This is the first time the sisters have collaborated on song writing and I say it is working quite well. Definitely give this a listen. Stand out songs: On Directing, Someday, Hell.

#2. An Horse - Rearrange Beds

'I have seen this before and you wanna camp out
and I wanna fuck around...'

Ironically, An Horse [Kate Cooper and Damon Cox] are frequent tour mates with Tegan and Sara but I didn't realize that until after I started listening to An Horse. This album has a very new feeling. The feeling of a first release but a fucking great one. The duo has a very fun sound, witty yet thoughtful lyrics. I still listen to this weekly. Check them out. I hear they're great live, as well. Stand out songs: Camp Out, Little Lungs, Rearrange Beds.

#1. Florence & The Machine - Lungs

'I must become a lion hearted girl,
ready for a fight.'

Brilliant. Period. Buy this album. Stand out songs: every single one.

Honorable mention: Sea Wolf, Devendra Banhart, Bon Iver, John Frusciante, Erin McKeown, and Company of Thieves.

1975/2009.

'we met as soul mates on Parris Island,
we left as inmates from an asylum...'

"The democratic franchise turns from one of humanity's most noble inventions to one of its most odious when the rights of a minority are submitted to the brute electoral power of the majority. It is democratic vigilantism, an electoral lynching mob, a psychological pogrom that replaces the torch and the noose with the wounding and terrifying language of hate, prejudice and bigotry. "

Frances Russell